that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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