you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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