the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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