Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
