Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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