just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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