mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
