I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize