I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
