I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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