Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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