Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
