Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
