Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
