I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We left the knife in your bed.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
