i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
