Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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