If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i think my cat just said my name.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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