Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
