i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize