you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
