Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
