sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
