Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
