Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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