I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
