I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
