What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
