The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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