Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
