yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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