either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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