I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize