basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
