No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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