just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
