He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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