margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
