I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
