I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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