I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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