yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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