And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
