Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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