i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
