so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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