Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
where does the pee come out of this thing
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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