i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
