Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
