they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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