So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
