my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
