Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
