the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
