I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
