Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
