You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
