I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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