Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
