Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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