do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
