I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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