Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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