Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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