I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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