Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
