Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
