come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
