Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize