He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
