drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
